We need to rekindle our bromance
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
