I want to have your abortion
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
