you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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