Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
