Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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