I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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