You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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