Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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