drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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