Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
