just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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