He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
