i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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