this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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