i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
