in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
