This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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