You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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