at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
