why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
