i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize