We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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