I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
