Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
