And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize