Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize