i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize