there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
