Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
please come you make the beer taste better
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
