You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
