i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
