The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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