You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
