why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize