Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
