I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
