It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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