so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
