when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
