I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
