First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
