I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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