I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
