none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
