don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
