There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
