I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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