while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
