this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm like, not good at living.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
