just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
