Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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