But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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