a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I wear drunk well.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
