yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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