No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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