hell yes lets make some ravioli
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize