So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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