Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
